Finding Alice

Mother’s Day 2020 and I am so ready to party!

No lectures, please. I don’t mean reckless abandon “Grandmas Gone Wild” kind of partying with blowing raspberries on bare tummies. Certainly not this year. And no hugging.

(Aside to self: Now Alice, don’t go down that rabbit hole. For this weekend, promise no hyper- focusing on pandemics, politics, and dire economic predictions!)

Out of all the descriptor hats I wear, ‘Mom’ and ‘Grandma’ are my favorites. My husband Si who goes by ‘Grumpy’ says, “Every day should be Mother’s Day.” True to his word. He brings me flowers, peanut M&Ms and lottery scratchers on arbitrary occasions all year long.

I know certain husbands who when asked if ready for the holiday reply, “Why should I get my wife anything for Mother’s Day? She’s not MY mother!”  No judgment, here, guys. Just saying.

Another ‘Si’ truism: We are made immortal through our ancestors – not just their DNA, but their stories, behavior, and values. My mother, also Alice, has been gone for over thirty years and I still miss her, not just on Mother’s Day but at random and unexpected times throughout the year.

Mom was born shortly after the 1918 pandemic. (There you go again, Alice!) A branded spinster, Mom didn’t marry Dad until 1955, then managed to pack a steamer trunk-load of memories into what remained of her life. She gave birth to four kids in less than four years. I remember lots of hollering but by comparison much more love and laughter. When I became a mother for the first time, my mother said, “Oh, I’m so jealous of you! She’s going to make such a good companion!”

She was right. We became such good companions, Mom and me.

And my daughters are definitely incredible companions. My granddaughters, too. Pretty amazing little girls, and everything, even right now when everything is not fine, everything is fine.

So I will silence my internal, italic editor and speak directly to all the mothers right now who are confined with children – toddles,adolescents, or teenagers, the moms who wish that if Costco can’t manage to keep Clorox wipes and TP on their shelves, they would at least stock twenty pound bags of patience. To those moms on Mother’s Day 2020, I say, Hang in there! You are strong. You are powerful. You are a mother, and one day, if you remember to breathe deeply to a count of ten and lock yourself all alone in the bathroom when necessary, they will indeed become such good companions.

Mark my mother’s words.